Rules for Living With the Transformers
by Deathrose23
Summary: These are simple rules one must follow if they want to survive living with the Transformers.
1. Chapter 1

Rules for Living with the Transformers

By: Rosalind Witwicky

Disclaimer I do not own Transformers that right goes to Hasbro. The only person I own is my OC Rosalind. This fic is going to be rated T just to play it safe. This is also my first fic so I hope you like it.

Rule 1: Quoting Harry Potter Puppet Pals is banned

*Dobby's sock*- (I said that in an argument with Ratchet. The look on his face was priceless.)

*Bother whilst poking someone*- (Miles did that to me. He's still in Med Bay.)

*Voldemort's nipple*- (Will said that during a meeting with Prime. The bots turned and gave him a "WTF" look while the rest of us just laughed.)

(Though we still quote it)

Rule 2: Treat Director Galloway with the upmost respect

*Even if he is a fragging pit spawned glitch*-(Me)

*Rosalind….*-(Prowl)

*Well it's true. Hardly anyone will pay attention to this rule.*-(Me)

Rule 3: DO NOT TOUCH MY WEAPONS

(Sam, Leo, Miles)

(I will hunt you down and I will kick your aft to Cybertron and back.)

Rule 4: No pets on base

( Iornhide + Animals = A disaster waiting to happen)

Rule 5: Do not piss me off when it is my time of the month

*Miles got landed in the Med Bay yesterday.(Rule 1)He's still in there."-(Sam)


	2. Chapter 2

Rules for Living with the Transformers

By: Rosalind Witwicky

Disclaimer I do not own Transformers that right goes to Hasbro. The only person I own is my OC Rosalind. This fic is going to be rated T just to play it safe. This is also my first fic so I hope you like it.

Rule 6: No junk food allowed on base

(If you have it make sure you hide it in a place that Hatchet will never find it.)

Rule 7: Always show up for training on time

*I was late for training and Iornhide made me run laps for hours after everyone else had left*-(Will)

Rule 8: Do not steal Ratchets wrenches

(Sunstreaker and Sideswipe)

*Ratchet told me to tell you two that the next time you try to take his wrenches he will paint you both pink and weld your afts to the Rec room ceiling.*-(Me)

Rule 9: Do not call me the following

*Rosebud*-(Sunny, Sides, Leo, Miles)

*Squishy*-(Sunny)

*Fleshling*-(Sunny)

*Rosy*-(All but Will, Epps, Iornhide, Ratchet, Optimus, Prowl)

(Calling me by any of those names will earn you a free trip to the Med Bay)

Rule 10: Do not disturb Ratchet will he is in Med Bay unless you need medical attention

(If not then he will not hesitate to throw a wrench or whatever it is he is holding at that moment at you.)


	3. Chapter 3

Rules for Living with the Transformers

By: Rosalind Witwicky

Disclaimer I do not own Transformers that right goes to Hasbro. The only person I own is my OC Rosalind. This fic is going to be rated T just to play it safe. This is also my first fic so I hope you like it.

Rule 11: Do not listen to or sing any of the following songs

*Crazy Train-Ozzy Osbourne*-(Your sanity will be questioned.)

*Bring me to life or any other song by Evanescence*-(The bots will think that you are depressed.)

Rule 12: Do not deprive Sam and Mikaela of their cuddle time

(If you do I have one word of advice and that is run as if Megatron is on your tail.)

Rule 13: Ratchet is not allowed to ban coffee from base

(Humans need their morning cup of coffee to stay sane.)

Rule 14: Sam is limited to one cup of coffee a day

(He was so hyped up on caffeine and he was talking at a pace that would make Blurr proud. That was until Ratchet sedated him and dragged him to Med Bay.)

Rule 15: Under no circumstance are you to enter Wheeljack's lab

(If you do we are not responsible for any injury you might (will) sustain.)


	4. Chapter 4

Rules for Living with the Transformers

By: Rosalind Witwicky

Disclaimer I do not own Transformers that right goes to Hasbro. The only person I own is my OC Rosalind. This fic is going to be rated T just to play it safe. This is also my first fic so I hope you like it.

Authors note: Sorry I haven't updated over the past week I didn't have any access to my computer. I also thought that I should mention that Rose is the daughter of Optimus and that her guardians are the Terror Twins. So here's the next chapter.

Rule 16: If you value your life do not mess with Ironhide's cannons

(Sunny, Sides)

*Ratchet says that he is getting tired of fixing you two up because you keep on messing with Ironhide's cannons.*-(me)

Rule 17: The following movies have been banned

*Halloween franchise*-(Damn you Prowl)

*A Nightmare on Elmstreet*-(Again Damn)

*Friday the 13th*-(No Comment)

(We made the mistake of watching these movies when Red alert was around…)

Rule 18: Any and all fanfiction sites are banned

(Slash pairings)

Rule 19: All Legend of Zelda games are banned

(Someone told Red that there is a guy named BEN Drowned who haunts a copy of Majora's Mask so he banned all Legend of Zelda games just to be safe.)

(Though I still play them)

Rule 20: Dressing up as any Creepypasta is discouraged

(Sam really pissed me off one day, so in return with the help of my guardians I dressed up as the Creepypasta he fears the most…. BEN Drowned. I got Sunny and Sides to send encrypted messages to Sam's cellphone saying things like "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?" and "You shouldn't have done that". After a few weeks I dressed up as BEN and went into his quarters while he slept. I then woke him up. His screams were heard throughout the base. Everyone else on base came to investigate. When they figured out that it was me. The twins and I got sent to the brig for 3 weeks. It was so worth it.)


	5. Chapter 5

Rules for Living with the Transformers

By: Rosalind Witwicky

Disclaimer I do not own Transformers that right goes to Hasbro. The only person I own is my OC Rosalind. This fic is going to be rated T just to play it safe. This is also my first fic so I hope you like it.

Rule 21: Do not attempt to ditch Ratchet's monthly checkups

(Everyone)

(He will hunt you down and drag you to med bay if he has to)

Rule 22: Do not leave me alone in the same room as Galloway

*One time we left Rose alone with Galloway while the rest of us were in a meeting with Prime. When we went to check on them after the meeting was finished we found Galloway hanging from the ceiling in the rec room and Rose just playing videogames like nothing happened.*- (Prowl)

*I got brig time for that. It was worth it even though he said that I am a freak and that I should be put down. So you can't blame me.*- (Rose)

*HE SAID WHAT?!*-(All bots, soldiers, Sam, Mikaela and surprisingly Simmons)

Rule 23: Do not make Prowl glitch on purpose

*Aww but it's so fun*- (Sunny, Sides, Rose, Jazz)

Rule 24: No telling Optimus that you wish Megatron was your father

(Dad and I got into a fight so I said that. Dad looked so hurt. I apologized and made him brownies)

(He forgave me. But I was grounded for a week.)

Rule 25: Do not give Prowl high-grade

(He starts to sing really badly)


	6. Chapter 6

Rules for Living with the Transformers

By: Rosalind Witwicky

Disclaimer I do not own Transformers that right goes to Hasbro. The only person I own is my OC Rosalind. This fic is going to be rated T just to play it safe. This is also my first fic so I hope you like it.

Author's note: I am now going to start writing 15 rules per chapter rather than 5. If you have any ideas for rules feel free to leave a comment or message me.

Rule 26: Do not call the bots by the following names

Ratchet-*Hatchet, Doctor Doom, Minty*

Sunstreaker-*Sunshine, Daffodil, Lemon head, Captain Mustard, Sunflower, Buttercup, Dandelion, Sunny, Streaker*

Iornhide-*Ironass or Ironaft*

Prowl-*Pig, The Fuzz, PoPo, Copper, Doughnut eater, Hardaft, Tightaft, Prowlie, Prowler*

Rule 27: Food is for eating

(The soldiers and I were bored one day at lunch and we decided that it would be a good idea to have a food fight. The bots walked in and we had to clean up our mess. Prowl then gave us a lecture on how food is for eating.)

Rule 28: if you do not see my guardians for a while you should be worried

(That means that they are planning a prank)

(One time Sunny and Sides were away for an hour. After they came back we heard an angry shout coming from the shooting range. Iornhide came in covered with pink paint.)

(There are now Sunstreaker and Sideswipe shaped dents in the wall.)

Rule 29: No one is allowed to give me chocolate

(Although junk food is banned from base, people still have it. So one day Epps thought that it would be a good idea to get me hyped up on chocolate. All I remember is waking up in the med bay the next day.)

Rule 30: here are more songs that are banned

*Riot by Three Days Grace*-(I hate you Prowl)

*Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses*-(Damn)

*Low by Flo Rida*

*Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake*

*Sexy and I know it by LMFAO*

(Sunny kept on playing those two songs on a loop.)

*Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood*-(Talks about vandalising cars.)

*I Hate Myself for Loving You by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts*

Rule 31: All single males are to stay away from me

*Happy now?*-(Me)

*Very*-(All bots excluding the Chevy twins)

Rule 32: All horror movies are banned from base

(Let's just say that Red Alert is very paranoid)

Rule 33: Do not do or say the following in the middle of a Decepticon attack

*Run up to a random con and hug their leg*-(I don't know what Leo and Miles were thinking)

*Wait I dropped my bomb*-(Everyone started to panic when I said that. Turns out I "dropped" it on Skywarp's foot.)

*Sacrifice a Virgin*-(Leo and Miles screamed and ran from Sunstreaker.)

Rule 34: Do not badger the cons

(After the last battle the bots and cons called a truce. The cons then moved in with us.)

(Leo and Miles thought that it would be smart to annoy the cons.)

(They are now in med bay)

Rule 35: Quoting Pirates of The Caribbean is discouraged

*I've got a jar of dirt. I've got a jar of….*-(Leo)

*Shut the frag up*-(Everyone)

*Nobody move! I've dropped me brain.*-(Hello med bay)

Rule 36: Twilight is banned from base

(Good riddance)

Rule 37: Do not tell the seekers that they look like giant Doritos

(Starscream will get pissy)

(Thundercracker will just ignore you)

(Skywarp will just laugh.)

Rule 38: Do not mess up Sunstreaker's or Knockout's paintjobs

(They can be just as scary as Megatron)

Rule 39: Toilet paper is to be used for its designed purpose

(The terror twins and I thought that it would be a good idea to tp the base. Hello Brig)

Rule 40: Do not tell Starscream that he looks and sounds like a femme

(Miles, Sam and Leo are in med bay yet again.)


	7. Chapter 7

Rules for Living with the Transformers

By: Rosalind Witwicky

Disclaimer I do not own Transformers that right goes to Hasbro. The only person I own is my OC Rosalind. This fic is going to be rated T just to play it safe. This is also my first fic so I hope you like it.

Author's note: I am now going to start writing 15 rules per chapter rather than 5. If you have any ideas for rules feel free to leave a comment or message me.

Rule 41: Do… I mean do not help my guardians and I with our pranks

(Really help us with our pranks. Sure you will end up in the brig. But the reactions we get from everyone make it worth it.)

Rule 42: Quoting Futurama is strongly discouraged

*Space. It seems to go on forever. But then you get to the end and the gorilla starts throwin' barrels at you.*-(Me)

*Kiss my shiny meatal ass*

* I'm an alien, alright? Let's drop the subject.*-(Skywarp)

*Cool, an alien. Has your race taken over the planet?*-(Miles)

* No, I just work here.*-(Skywarp)

* Grunka-Lunka dunkety doo

We've got a friendly warning for you

Grunka-Lunka dunkety dasis

The secret of Slurm's on a need-to-know basis

Asking questions in school is a great way to learn

If you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke

We once found a dead guy face down in the Slurm

It could easily happen again to you, folks

So keep your head down and keep your mouth shut

Grunka Lunka Lunka dunkety dutt!*-(Sunny and Sides)

Rule 43: Do not and I repeat do not call Starscream Megatron's Bitch

(He will get all screechy and you will end up in med bay)

Rule 44: Only I am allowed to call Megatron, Thundercracker, Starscream and Skywarp uncle

(Others tried it and they ended up in med bay.)

(No surprises there)

Rule 45: The following video games have been banned

*Skyrim and Oblivion*-(I really hate you Prowl)

*Halo*-(It's too addicting)

*Resident Evil or any game with zombies*-(Red Alert is way to paranoid)

*Red Dead Redemption*-(Really Prowl do you hate me that much?!)

*Grand Theft Auto*-(No surprise there)

Rule 46: I am not allowed to bring a boy to base

(I did that once and I had to make up excuses as to why he was being chased by a Semi, 2 Lamborghinis, a cybertronian jet and 3 f-22 raptors. All of which were driving themselves.)

(Let's just say that he broke up with me and that I haven't dated since)

Rule 47: Lennox's daughter Annabelle is the only one allowed watching cartoons

(I was watching her one day and we were watching Scooby Doo. The next day I walked into the rec room and I saw Sideswipe watching it. Prowl walked in and saw what he was watching and he glitched.)

Rule 48: To add to rule 23 do not attempt to make the following bots glitch

*Shockwave*-(Uncle Megatron will be very slagged off)

*Red Alert*-(His paranoia will get worse)

Rule 49: Here are some items that are banned from base

*Duct tape*-(Unless it is being used for its intended purpose)

*Silly string*

*Confetti*

*Paint*-(Unless you are painting)

Rule 50: Bungee jumping is banned

(Sam, Leo, Miles, Epps, Lennox, Mikaela, Rose)

(The bots thought that we were trying to offline ourselves.)

(Ratchet gave us a lecture on the safety hazard that it poses.)

Rule 51: Car surfing is banned

(Leo, Miles)

(Why doesn't this surprise me?)

(They wound up in med bay with a broken arm each and the Chevy twins were put in the brig.)

Rule 52: Jazz is not allowed to blast music in the main hanger

(Many humans almost lost their hearing.)

(We haven't seen him for a few weeks.)

Rule 53: Ravage is not a pet and he should not be treated like one

(Leo)

(He went up to him and said *Here kitty kitty*. Needless to say that he is in med bay)

Rule 54: Do not touch my books

(I will hurt you)

Rule 55: Wheeljack is not allowed to watch the following TV shows

*Mythbusters*

* Phineas and Ferb*


	8. Chapter 8

Rules for Living with the Transformers

By: Rosalind Witwicky

Disclaimer I do not own Transformers that right goes to Hasbro. The only person I own is my OC Rosalind. This fic is going to be rated T just to play it safe. This is also my first fic so I hope you like it.

Author's note: I am now going to start writing 15 rules per chapter rather than 5. If you have any ideas for rules feel free to leave a comment or message me.

Rule 56 goes to Zombie-aft-kicker

Rule 56: Do not tell Prowl or Barricade that they look like Oreo cookies because of their armor colouring.

(Sam, Leo, Miles)

Rule 57: No quoting Skyrim

*Let me guess, someone took your sweetroll*-(I said that to both Galloway and Mearing. Let's just say that they were pissed.)

*I used to be an adventurer like you. Until I took an arrow to the knee.*-(I said this to Prowl. He glitched)

*I know who you are. Hail Sithis!*-(The bots and cons have taken to saying this whenever I am around because I dressed up as a Dark Brotherhood assassin for Halloween.)

*I would be a lot warmer and happier with a belly full of mead.*-(Will, Epps and many other male soldiers on base)

*I've heard it howling. I'm telling you those werewolf tales are true.*-(Leo)

*I am a werewolf you dumbaft*-(Me)

*Go fiddling with any locks around here and we'll have a really big problem.*-(Prowl said this to my guardians and I…We glitched.)

*CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!*-(Both Blitzwing and I said this. Prowl and Shockwave glitched. Sheogorath is the best . )

Rule 58: Do not say anything illogical around Prowl or Shockwave

(They will glitch)

Rule 59: Here are some more movies that are banned from base

*Les Miserables*-(Too depressing)

*Sweeny Todd*-(Bots didn't like it)

(Thud)

*Ratchet! Prowl made Rose glitch*-(Sunny)

*Bring her to med bay. Bring Prowl to.*-(Ratchet)

Rule 60: Do not sing any songs from Sweeny Todd

*There's a hole in the world like a great black pit,

And it's filled with people that are filled with shit,

And the vermin of the world inhabit it.*-(I sang this will throwing darts at a picture of Galloway's face. My dad, Prowl and Ratchet walked in at the wrong time. Prowl glitched and I was carried off to med bay. Ratchet was shocked when I passed the mentality test that followed.)

Rule 61: Do not nickname any one after characters from Skyrim

*General Tullius*- (Optimus)

*Commander Maro*-(Prowl)

*Sheogorath*-(Blitzwing)

*Azura*-(Mikaela)

*Nocturnal*-(Rose)

*Hircine*-(Rose)

*Hermaeus Mora*-(Ratchet)

*Mehrunes Dagon*-(Iornhide)

*Ulfric Stormcloak*-(Megatron)

*Molag Bal*-(Starscream)

Rule 62: Ratchet and Iornhide are the only people that are allowed in my room during the full moon

(I am a werewolf so they help me. Ratchet makes sure that I am safe when I transform. Iornhide helps to restrain me if anything goes wrong.)

Rule 63: Do not ask Soundwave if he is related to any of the following

*Slenderman*

*Splendorman*

*Trenderman*

*Offenderman*

*Enderman*

(Leo, Miles, Sam)

(He will get annoyed and you will end up in med bay again)

Rule 64: If you dress up for Halloween make sure you tell the bots and cons what your costume is going to be before hand

(Sam dressed up as the Dragonborn, Mikaela dressed up as Serena and I was dressed up as a member of the Dark Brotherhood. Hail Sithis! The bots and cons knew it was us so everything was fine. But Leo and Miles were dressed like Zombies. The bots and cons didn't know who they were. So they were almost shot by Iornhide.)

Rule 65: No swearing when Annabelle is on base

(She is in the stage where she repeats everything she hears. So when Leo called me a "Bitch" she thought it was a nice word so she called me one in front of Will. When she told him who taught her that word he went to go 'talk' to Leo.)

Rule 66: Do not try to hook Galloway up with Mearing

(Sure they are a match made in Heaven)

(But try to picture what their children would be like.)

Rule 67: Do not tell my father or my uncles that I am dating Soundwave

(I don't want them to know and they don't need to know.)

Rule 68: Do not try to wake me up before 10

(I will probably try to kill you.)

Rule 69: Do not try to get the bots to do your homework for you

(Sam)

(They will help you if you ask them. But they will not do it for you.)

Rule 70: Do not call Megatron Megsy

(Sam, Leo, Miles)

(Do you guys have a death wish?)


	9. Chapter 9

Rules for Living with the Transformers

By: Rosalind Witwicky

Disclaimer I do not own Transformers that right goes to Hasbro. The only person I own is my OC Rosalind. This fic is going to be rated T just to play it safe. This is also my first fic so I hope you like it.

Author's note: I am now going to start writing 15 rules per chapter rather than 5. If you have any ideas for rules feel free to leave a comment or message me.

Rules 71-72 go to Mariel Samantha Witwicky

Rule 71: Do not call Starscream the "Dorito of Doom"

(Leo, Sam, Miles)

*You three are utter idiots.*-(Me)

Rule 72: The game double dare is banned.

(Sam, Leo, Miles, Mikaela and I played one day. When it was my turn I said "Double dare I'm scared" meaning that I had to do two dares. I was dared to throw a wrench at Ratchet and to make Prowl glitch again. I am now running from a wrench wielding Ratchet and a very pissed off Prowl.)

Rule 73: I can't kill Skids and Mudflap

(They found out about my relationship with Soundwave from his Symbiotes and the two of them told everyone else on base. They are now afraid of me and I am now in the brig because I tried to offline them.)

Rule 74: Do not get the bots and cons watch the video "Don't Hug Me I'm scared"

(A lot of them glitched)

(Leo and Miles are now in the brig)

Rule 75: The following T.V shows have been banned

*The Walking Dead*-(1 word Zombies)

*The Vampire Diaries*-(Frag you Prowl)

*Buffy the Vampire Slayer*-(Damn it)

*Charmed*-(Prowl what did I do to make you hate me so much?)

Rule 76: Sam is not allowed to spike Galloway's coffee

(He spiked it with Vodka….. Who knew that Galloway could be very nice?)

Rule 77: Do not try to break out of the brig

(Prowl will find you and you will double your sentence.)

*Miles was once in the brig for 4 months because he managed to break out.*-(Sam)

Rule 78: Ratchet is the only one to dismiss someone from med bay

(He will find you and drag you back to med bay if he has to.)

Rule 79: Do not call me Rosy

(I will not be held responsible for any injuries that you will obtain)

(Look at Rule 9)

Rule 80: I am the only person that is allowed to make fun of Knockout

(Others have tried to get away with it but they wound up in the med bay)

Rule 81:Here is another list of songs that have been banned from base

*E.T by Katy Perry*-(Obvious reasons)

*Bad Reputation by Joan Jett and the Blackheats*

*My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark by Fallout Boy*

Rule 82: Never and I repeat Never say the following around Ratchet

*You just about gave me a heart attack*-(Sam said this when I crept up behind him wearing my Halloween costume.)

*My brain feels like it is going to explode!*-(Me after spending 3 hours studying for my history test.*

(You will be rushed to med bay and will have to undergo many tests.)

Rule 83: Do not and I repeat do not say the following to Ratchet

*Make me.*-(I said that when he told me to report to med bay. He did make me go to med bay by throwing a wrench at me… I still have the bruise.)

*Who pissed in your cornflakes?*-(I made the mistake of saying this to him right after he was pranked by my guardians…. I woke up in med bay a few hours later.)

Rule 84: Do not call either Sunstreaker or Knockout ugly.

(Sam, Leo, Miles)

(They have been in med bay for 2 weeks now.)

Rule 85: Do not bother me if Soundwave and I are watching a movie together

(Sam did that once and if looks could kill he would be nothing more than a pile of ash.)


End file.
